Man Of Honor – Dad

The moment will be gone by the time this post will get published and laden with the guilt of extraordinary order I should be apologizing and giving all the reasons why I couldn’t keep up with the rest of the world in celebrating “The Father’s Day”. On the contrary, I prefer laughing it away and with a pinch of sarcasm for what seems a sin to everyone else is just a lame trend to me.

I don’t remember the last time I actually wished my Dad any kind of day (obviously except for his birthday) or bought a gift for him. What difference does it make? Or does it really?

The History

A little digging in into the sequence of events might help in painting a more vivid picture. The year was 1910 when the first Father’s Day was celebrated in the States and as the irony is, it wasn’t until 1972 almost 58 years after Mother’s Day was made official (1914) that it was decided to honor the male counterparts too.

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Unknown to many it was even proposed to scrap both the days and for the sake of a single holiday and uniform respect for both, Parent’s Day should be celebrated instead. But thanks to The Great Depression of the 1930s and a combined effort of the struggling retailers, it was decided to keep celebrating both the events and with more financial vigor and fanfare. Father’s Day was even compared to being sorts of second X-Mas. The emotions caught the wind with the start of WWII with Father’s Day being a way to support troops and the war effort.

Sonora Louise Smart Dodd was another soul who campaigned for the assignment of a specific day to honor her father’s sacrifices and dedication to raise 5 kids single-handedly. Her proposal was accompanied by a petition for the celebration of first Father’s Day on her father’s birthday in early June. And finally, due to her nationwide campaigning, it got passed as a Joint Resolution 187 by the US Congress.

The Financial Impact

The day of the Dads has found a special place in the heart and soul of brand owners and merchandisers just like every other so-called special day. The extent of spends in terms of food, gatherings, and gifts has almost touched $16 billion in 2019. It is imperative to understand the agenda behind the exploitation of resources and intelligent yet careful manipulation of emotions worldwide. The financial leap observed since 2009 ($6.6 billion) to 2019 ($16 billion) is nothing compared to the figures of Mother’s Day spending ($25 billion), yet speaks volume of the coordinated strategy to monetize common man’s feelings and emotions.

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I obviously have nothing against the brands or gifts for fathers but the strategy to polarize the feelings which definitely dilutes the essence of the emotion.

The Real Meaning And Feeling

Since childhood, I have remembered my Dad to be my hero and the one to fulfill all my wishes. I have felt him be the pillar I lean on, the foundation I stand upon and support I seek whenever in distress. And something I have observed closely while growing under his shadow is his commitment to passing on his legacy to me in strength and spirit so that I can manage things as smoothly as he has envisioned me to.

Coming back to the topic of Father’s Day celebrations, it was celebrated yesterday in the most innovative ways across almost 90 countries in the word. Yet there are countries which choose to honor the men and fathers in their part of the world on a very different day.

Russia – Feb 23

China – August 8

Thailand – December 5

Egypt – June 21

Brazil – Second Sunday of August

The point I wish to make is quite simple to understand. Why a single day of celebration? Why only one day to acknowledge the sacrifices of the most important man in your life? And why material choices over anything else?

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I realized I was stirring the hornet’s nest when I decided to pen down my thoughts for there will a huge chunk who would conveniently oppose my views. Although I don’t mind criticism I prefer it to be logical and constructive.

The Agenda

I have been a mute spectator of these extravagant and larger than life events like Mother and Father’s Day for some years now and have no calms in accepting the utmost childish and immature behavior we tend to display and feel proud of. Ask yourself a simple question, is it unjust or difficult to celebrate the companionship and love for your parents every day with the same spirit? Or do you really think it will diminish its meaning and worth? Have your parents earmarked a special and exclusive day for celebrating your presence in their life or is it evident in every moment you spend with them?

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I apologize if I may sound like an old school or a preacher but for me every day and rather every moment with your loved ones is special. Every gesture and every touch holds much more importance for them than any number of material gifts and experiences. Why do you want a specific day to showcase your love, appreciation, and respect for them when you have got every second, every minute, every hour and every day to accomplish that zillions of times.

Ask Them

I still remember, a few years ago (when I started earning) I was coxing my parents to accompany me to a movie followed by shopping and dinner which according to me was my way of showing gratitude for all the love and support I got from them. But what I conveniently failed to realize was, they were much more capable of all those luxuries and had been all throughout when they chose to make my future and dreams as their priority.

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They, without diving into any details asked me politely to drop all the plans and spend the weekend with them. I did as instructed and it opened up a whole new world for me. Although I did not buy them expensive gifts or take them out for dinner and movies but learned a lot about their likes, dislikes, preferences, and expectations from me.

It was indeed a revelation for me to know that all they wanted was some time to create everlasting memories, laugh together, discuss my life and future plans and where they fit in them.

What Really Matters

For me life is simple and there is no need to complicate it like we so often do. Instead of waiting to be led into the unknown territory, chart your own. Ask them (Parents) what they want and how they would want to be treated rather than jumping on the bandwagon of social media and brands. Don’t be a slave of what’s trending. Decide what needs to trend for you.

The little things hide the greatest joys in life. Change neither has to be prompt nor inclusive. I make sure the whole family has at least a meal together every day, I started helping my dad with gardening, I never fail to spend half an hour with my mom before I go to bed, I cook for them sometimes and we do go on vacations together once in a while. But the focus is never on anything material but the moments we live together and the subsequent memories that get created.

I found my ways of celebrating my relations and that too every day without fail. Are you willing to?

Take a step towards your freedom for it’s worse than slavery to be a part of the senseless trend.

Till then keep SMILING and LIVE some more while you can, for there’ll be plenty of time to drag on 🙂 !

Stay tuned for more interesting and thought-provoking posts.

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I am a nomad at heart who craves for journeys and experiences. Life is too short to stop exploring and the quest to be happy should go on.

22 thoughts on “Man Of Honor – Dad

  1. I feel the same way about Fathers day, Mothers day and even Valentine’s day. One day is definitely not enough! And often it’s the small gestures that are so meaningful. I don’t need a huge fancy dinner but when we were at a chaat shop a few weeks back, it was a lovely surprise when my son paid our bill. I’d rather have a spontaneous gesture like that than one the calendar told him when to do and our culture told us how much to spend.

      1. Thanks! Glad to know I’m not the only one who feels this way.

        Things are good. After a long dry spell work got busy. Been traveling for work a little which has been fun. Back home soon for more work and at least a six month stay.

  2. A very well researched post. In a culture like ours where we are not very expressive..like I see in a lot of families people don’t even hug each other …the introduction of such days helps acknowledging the presence of each other and maybe expressing our love for each other. Though as you say one day isn’t just it but we are so closed about expressing love that it isn’t a bad idea I think.

    1. Sonia I agree the idea isn’t bad but on the contrary, urban households have gone beyond the challenge of being expressive. These specific days are more glamorous in nature than deep connects for a generation whose benchmarks are social media trends.
      I am not against celebration but the spirit which gets lost to brands and marketing gimmicks.
      I know people who don’t have a single meal with their parents all throughout the year but take them out for fine dining on Father’s / Mother’s day. What’s the point of that connect which is obviously not natural but induced by societal trends or pressure,

      1. Every relationship is special and anything that’s special doesn’t need a special mention 🙂 . It’s right there within you and in every moment.

  3. A well researched and an intelligent post.

    Although I wish my mom dad on these specific days also because it is internationally there day, but yes I do not follow the hype, for me everyday is parents day and I do not miss any chance to express my love and grartitude to them.

    Good one 👍

    1. I am not against dedicating any day to them but the way they get branded for it steals the essence and the spirit. It is an emotion and not a festival. Emotions are forever.

  4. You are right! It’s never too late to express your feelings to your loved ones and even sometimes no need to perform any formalities too. We just go and talk and they understand everything. (The told and untold too).

I would love to hear from you :)

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